You are almost describing the relationship I currently have with my AP. Started differently than you, but these men sound very similar. Words and actions are hard. They THINK they’re trying to communicate feelings but just fall so short. Simple words- the I Miss Yous- mean so much when you rarely get them…it hurts, I know. I try to walk away, and think I succeed, until I cave.
I wish I could tell you what to do, I do. But I can only say, I hope you are stronger than me. It feels like trodding through quicksand, never knowing if the next step will be the one to do you in. He’s not going to pull you out.