Series: Love Me, Tinder…Win, Lise, or Drew

Win, Lose, or Drew.

I deleted Tinder from my phone one July, a year after I downloaded it. It was time. I gave it a mad, hard, hell of a run, but I was tired of playing the game. It was a game I won, if you can call it game, but it just wasn’t fun anymore.

I just hope both teams have fun.

It wasn’t much fun.

In the beginning, I felt like every match was a sign that I still had it, a middle-ish aged woman swiping right on only the best looking of the horny Tinder profiles, and, making matches with them.

I wasn’t in the mood to fuck just anyone.

I wanted the young ones. The muscled ones. The ones that, when I was their age, they’d have never noticed me. Yes, those were my targets. I wasn’t looking for repeats. No way. I didn’t assign any points to repeat wins. Swipe Right, point. Message me, two points. Fuck me, I win. That was pretty much it.

I win.

In May that same year I swiped right on a man in North Carolina while traveling for business, a food tour of the state, you might say. Hired to eat at both fine dining establishments and doughnut shops. I was being paid to sample everything and give my Instagram opinions in real time…a really tough gig, I know. This was my life.