Polyamory: Where Will it Take Me?

Sway Montgomery
4 min readDec 27, 2023

One year ago, my husband and I climbed aboard the Lifestyle train. I don’t think we considered it a big leap…I think we just thought we were going to a sex club on a Friday night. A little out of our norm, a little risqué, a little fun after a difficult couple of months.

Was it all of those things? Yes, it was. Despite the fact that we played with only each other that night, we did, in fact, end up in the Lifestyle. A train ride into the unknown.

I remember meeting a pink haired vixen online through the club we visited, a girl so emboldened in her sexuality that you couldn’t help but trust her advice. Take it at YOUR pace, she offered. It’s different for everyone!

She was right. It is certainly different for everyone. There is an older couple at “our club” that make it their goal to have sex with literally every couple that shows up. They strip naked on the dance floor, they sway and cackle and grope each other, they are maybe the most alive late sixties swingers on the planet. I have seen her clothed less than I have dressed, and despite the fact that she should likely be ironed, nothing stops her from exuding every bit of sexual energy she’s had bottled up in her life.

On the other hand, there is the pink haired friend, who described to me her polyamory, a concept I just could not grasp at the time. She explained how she and her husband dated separately, how they fell in love with others, how they carried on relationships outside of their marriage.

I couldn’t fathom it.

I barely knew how to share Avery in a group bed, with a female I allowed, much less in a relationship with FEELINGS, away from my sight, where I’d have to wonder what was happening. Both Avery and I balked at the idea…it just wasn’t for us.

Fast forward past a single swap, and you find me getting involved separately with my current Affair Partner, Marc. What started off as acquaintances taking the leap to a casual hookup led to an intense, loving, heartbreaking relationship. My husband supported me through it all, even the worst bits when I found myself teary-eyed and aching. When I found myself longing for what I’d never get back, even when I ruined pieces of our own lives together. He stuck with me.

I don’t know how.

As my life with Marc has progressed into an affair, (his wife doesn’t know), and I have found myself distancing myself from him as an act of…

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Sway Montgomery

I was a baker, a cookbook author, a follower of the rules. Now I am following my passion for sharing and exploring all the rules I should have been breaking.