Polyamory: Make It Make Sense

Sway Montgomery
6 min readJan 31, 2024

Make it make sense.

I spent the night of my 49th birthday with a man that is not my husband. It’s strange for me to think about in that way…a strange man, on a special day. My day.

The day was, in fact, special.

It’s not the day I would have imagined only a few weeks ago however.

My husband, Avery, and I have been exploring ENM for just over a year now, and dove into polyamory in early summer, when I began a committed and loving relationship with Marc. I’ve written so many times about my struggles with Marc, to the point the stories exhaust even me.

That relationship is hard. ENM should not be hard. It’s supposed to be extra. Fun. Exciting. It certainly started off that way. But when things went pear-shaped in August, I went pear-shaped with them. I struggled with my self worth. I struggled with feelings of abandonment. I struggled with Marc no longer expressing his feelings for me. I struggled with the love my husband found in his own poly relationship, one of love unbound and commitment. I became jealous. Wandering. Wondering.

Marc and I have been having an affair since September, a relationship forbidden by his wife. She cannot and will not tolerate his having any involvement with me whatsoever, yet he continues. While Avery travels abroad to visit his girlfriend, Marc crawls into my bed as often as he can. He still wakes me most mornings with a text, he still flirts throughout the day, every day. He still claims that he owns me. I let him.

For my birthday, he mentioned the idea of having a threesome with Avery. Something not totally unexpected, but yet…unexpected. Avery agreed, and I agreed, despite none of us being stoked by our own cast of characters. Marc is jealous of Avery. Avery has a distaste for Marc, as he disagrees with his cheating on his wife. I was skeptical of how I could do it, considering I love them both, differently, but yet fully. I wasn’t sure I could balance.

Nonetheless, we arranged it. A threesome romp in the sex club after a huge birthday dinner Avery threw for me on Friday night. I sat mid table, sandwiched between my two loves, nervous yet excited. But all of the nerves and excitement were for naught.

Marc got caught.

As the dinner wrapped and the sex club was just moments away, Marc disappeared. A text came to say he had to go, that he’d been compromised. Thanks to his best friend…

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Sway Montgomery

I was a baker, a cookbook author, a follower of the rules. Now I am following my passion for sharing and exploring all the rules I should have been breaking.